My Family and Friends Make Small Talk at My Funeral

She loved bugs, didn’t she? Oh yeah, she was crazy
about a butterfly. What else did she love? A tall drink
of a woman? Yeah, I think so. Pretty
sure she hated cilantro. Do you have that gene?
She made flour tortillas from scratch every week.
She wrote poetry but never got very far
from a navel-gaze. She was scattered
in Ecuador and Texas but she never found
the home she wanted. Do you want
more guacamole? No, don’t get up,
I’ll get it for you. It’s sad to lose someone
so young. So much potential
unrealized, right? Did she smoke
American Spirits or Marlboros
or that weird floral mix? I can’t remember.
She always remembered what I was wearing
when I met her. She worried that she’d never love
again. She thought she looked forty
when she was twenty-nine. I picture
her in the sun holding that flower. I picture
her blacked-out on that curb trying to get her to drink
some water. It’s so weird to see her
in the casket wearing so much makeup.
She looks like she’s dreaming, it’s nice
that she’s finally getting some sleep
for once. Menthols, that was it, she smoked
menthols. She was convinced
that time is fake and she didn’t believe
in God, but God had a plan
for her, right? Yeah, hug your loved ones
close. This could happen at any time
to anyone. Every cloud has a silver
metallic taste to it and she’s in a better
place now, probably. What doesn’t kill
you makes you better able to taste
a cloud. My condolences
to the people who have to clean
up the mess we’re making of this buffet.
Grief is a cumulus cloud, detached,
individual, shaped like cauliflower.
She thought that cauliflower was a stupid excuse
for broccoli. Do you want more
of the vegetable tray?

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Pepper Cunningham (@pepwriteswords) (she/her) is a writer and editor based in the mountains of southern Ecuador. She is the Translation Editor at MAYDAY Magazine. Her work appears or is forthcoming in Rust + Moth, Rough Cut Press, Talk Vomit, Gnashing Teeth Publishing, and elsewhere. Her chapbook, Hope Is The Thing With Teeth, will be released this fall with Bottlecap Press. When she’s not working on her manuscript, she’s usually by the river searching for butterflies.