BLANCHE DUBOIS WAS ONLY BEATEN ONCE

“A man like that is someone to go out with once—twice—three times when the devil is in you.”
—Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire

the indignity lying
in not being invited back over
to be beaten again
knows
this is problematic
knows
it’s no laughing matter
though she was laughing
when he raised his hands
isn’t sorry
wanted to go back
to laugh at him
again
only sorry
she didn’t laugh
on her way out
didn’t laugh
while telling the doorman
wordless tangents spoken
through her bloody lip
didn’t laugh
when she didn’t find
some devil inside of her
like she’d been hoping for
so together
they could laugh
does not know
that a shooting star
was never really a star
was denied any light
only burned
while the gods beat it
from their orbit, beat it
too, only once
or else she’d wish
upon it twice
wish it into stasis
and together they would wink
up to the moon
compare their craters,
ridges, bruises
in this starry eyed delight
Look at me now
she imagines she would say
laughing
that he really thought
he could
because maybe the first time
he could, but next time
she would laugh
up to a sky
that has not once laughed back
but next time
but next time

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Stephanie Kaylor is the author of Ask a Sex Worker! (CLASH Books, 2024) and the recipient of fellowships from the Virginia Center for Creative Arts and UC Santa Barbara, where they are currently completing their PhD in Feminist Studies. They live in Brooklyn.