Just One Thing with Kimaya Diggs

Kimaya Diggs’ memoir “With Flowers” is saturated with finely crafted images to create a stunning bouquet of grief. Here she shares just one thing about the piece:

“‘With Flowers’ is the sixth piece to be published from a memoir I’m working on about my mother’s death, the death of my dog, and chronic illness. This is one of many retellings of the day my mother died -- other versions include an hour-by-hour timeline, ‘With Animals,’ ‘With Tasks,’ and a couple other things. I’m learning so much by digging into the nineteen hours of that day from different angles. ‘With Flowers’ was the first of these death day retellings that I wrote, inspired by the strange feelings that came up when I had to throw away the many, many bouquets of flowers that I received after my mom died. 

Flowers are so gorgeous in full bloom, and then so incredibly gross once they’re dead. The slime! The distinctive decaying scent! The fuzzy mold that grows on the stems! But I always wait to toss my flowers until the very last minute, because I don’t want to miss a single day of the blooming. My grandmother was the same—when her dementia worsened, she often stayed up all night. ‘I hate to give up a day,’ she said. It stuck with me because when everything is changing, clinging onto whatever you’ve got feels so vital. Flowers don’t really give you a choice, because they die and stink up your house whether you’re ready to let go of them or not.”