It’s a wedding where I run into my ex. I’m on one of those awkward one-date-onlys with a plain girl named Brittany, and Maggie looks amazing.
Read MoreCongratulations on the purchase of your Gower & Knightcross EasyDawn 200™ Alarm Clock with AM/FM/MP3 wake tones and customizable lighting options. CAUTION: Lamp becomes hot! Do not place any object on top of lamp.
Read MoreBecca lost her head when the elephant came to town. Five stories tall and made of metal with a horned eyeless head, the elephant tried not to knock down buildings but knocked down buildings anyway.
Read MoreThis time it wasn’t a drill. Crouched beneath our desks in our third grade classroom, window shades pulled down as a deterrent against thermonuclear radiation, I heard the lone Russian bomber elude our jet fighters, flying so far above them that I could imagine our machine gun bullets drifting up at it like a shower of soft windblown raindrops.
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