Patient X
29 Jan WellnessCheck1-Natural
Patient X (#19-0157) began the MAiDCare-Natural protocol (10) days ago, as mandated by registered birthdate (aged 75 on 19 Jan), but at WellnessCheck-1 (today) has been found noncompliant with said protocol, and states that, “this is not [his] time to die.” This Caseworker (#15-0286) asked Patient X if he would prefer to switch from the MAiDCare-Natural protocol to the MAiDCare-Quick, which could be administered immediately, but he rejected that option. Patient X states that he does not fear his upcoming exit, he only fears “for you cold-blooded murderers.” Patient X’s request that his food and medical ration card be reinstated was denied, per his choice of the MAiDCare-Natural protocol. Following up on his religious status marked “nondenominational,” Caseworker suggested Patient X consult with Spiritual Advisor on rotation, but this was rejected, with patient stating, “Keep those godless quacks away from me.”
Patient overall wellness: Appears somewhat agitated, at times in tears
Recommendation: Ativan or a similar sedative for the patient’s comfort
MAiDCare-Quick protocol: Offered, denied
MAiDCare-Natural protocol: Active, noncompliant
02 Feb WellnessCheck2 Natural
Patient X (#19-0157) continues his noncompliance with MAiDCare-Natural pathway, and at WellnessCheck-2 was found to have eaten a breakfast (small plate of crackers, canned salmon, hard cheese, and one cup black tea) from what remains in his residence. Inventory of remaining nutrition parcels includes: (1) half-box crackers, (3) packets instant noodle soup, (2) cans tuna, (2) cups instant oats, (5) sticks beef jerky, (1) half-box powdered milk. Patient X accused this Caseworker (#15-0286) of attempting to confiscate remaining food items listed above; Caseworker denied this claim and reminded Patient X that “rations issued prior to an enrolled patient’s birthdate are permitted.” Once again, this Caseworker advocated that Patient X switch to the Quick protocol and emphasized, per training, that the procedure would be “quick and painless, no blood,” but Patient X once again declined and restated his preference for the Natural path.
Patient X is coherent; however, his mental state may be deteriorating/unstable. When asked about his mental/emotional state, Patient X responded that “nothing being done here is natural,” and “you don’t believe in God, but you think you’re God. Well, I tell you, you’re being watched.” This Caseworker asked Patient X to clarify. Patient X then described in detail how, for the past several nights, he’s been visited by “brightly glowing white orbs that sparkle and hover” above the foot of his bed. Sometimes there is one, other times a pair. He does not believe the orbs mean him any harm, but “they—whoever ‘they’ are—are watching.”
This Caseworker asked if Patient X had ever seen these “orbs” before, prior to recent days. He stated that yes, at about twelve years of age, he was staying overnight in his grandmother’s farmhouse and he was awakened in the middle of the night in sleep paralysis. When he was able to “unfreeze” himself and sat up, one of these same orbs, glittering and rotating “like a disco ball,” silently hovered above the corner of his bed. He stared back at it for a long time, perhaps fifteen minutes, but the orb did not move or make a sound, so he went back to sleep. He never mentioned the incident to anyone until now.
Caseworker (#15-0286) once again asked Patient X if he would like to speak with someone about his spiritual concerns, but he declined.
Medication chart has been checked—none of his prescriptions prior to MAiDCare-Natural mandated stoppage protocol should cause delirium/hallucinatory withdrawal effects
Patient X retains full function—not yet wasting or in “active” exiting phase—and hallucinations are inexplicable at this time
Patient X marked “Compliant” by Caseworker (#15-0286) on this date, although he is still fully mobile and eating and drinking as normal
Recommendation: A sedative and MAiDCare Virtual Exit Counseling, emphasis on persuading patient to adopt Quick protocol ASAP for maximum ease and comfort
07 Feb WellnessCheck3-Natural
At 11am, Patient (#19-0157) has (1) cup oats and (1) beef jerky stick remaining. This Caseworker (#15-0286) has noted in e-chart that Patient X has rejected all attempts at Virtual Counseling appointments and used language in violation of hate speech laws, e.g., “To hell if I’ll be gaslit to my grave by you Nazis.” Violation has been noted and reported to authorities as per training, although persons enrolled in MAiDCare pathways are exempted from detention and arrest. Patient X is noticeably more belligerent and under increased emotional duress. Caseworker has clarified that Patient X has no family on record to assist with his progress on the MAiDCare-Natural pathway and has encouraged Patient X to seriously reconsider the Quick protocol, which is the recommended pathway for single individuals. However, Patient X still refuses to sign (i.e., he shoved the tablet out of the way).
This Caseworker next asked how Patient X is sleeping, if he has seen anything unusual again or had “visitors.” Patient X became notably hostile at the question and again referenced the orbs: “So what if I have? They just hover there and bring me peace. Are you going to mark down that I’m a crazy old man? Going to kill me?” He laughed and threatened this Caseworker with “The End Times” and “Judgement Day,” concluding “I’d be worried if I were you.”
Patient X declined seeing any other deceased loved ones, pets, or visions. He continues to reject the offer to assign a Spiritual Advisor to his case.
Caseworker (#15-0286) scores Patient X as still “Compliant,” although he remains fully mobile, eating, and drinking
Recommendation: Remain the same, despite Patient X’s emotional/mental decline
Full compliance expected within 1-3 days
Caseworker requests Supervisor conference ASAP to discuss next steps and employee counseling for work-related trauma
Caseworker (#15-0286) handwritten note inside case binder, found post-investigation, 11 April, dated Feb. -?
What to do about Patient X? Is it possible these visions of orbs are not hallucinations—but real? Over 1200 patients and never has anyone reported this, nor have I ever heard colleagues describe something similar. Is Patient X lying—out of anger at what he’s being forced to do, in meeting an early death? Trying to frighten those of us who must perform our jobs, even if in quiet misery, since the global rollout of the MAiDCare mandate three-and-a-half years ago? Or is he speaking the truth, and we are being watched and judged for what we do, as well as what we fail to do? For every moment we might choose courage over weakness—to not strip our elders of sustenance and force them to end their lives? But how much easier does it feel to continue our rounds? What to do about his request to only speak with a “real man of God,” when I reminded him that’s impossible—this Administration closed the churches long ago—a Caseworker can only mark down “decline of Spiritual Advisor.” How weak! When will we do more to resist than overlook a few cans of food or allow patients to finish out their medications? No, we Caseworkers are the true “Compliant” ones, with every electronic box we check for “love of Country, love of Planet, love of Interplanetary Future.” But murder in the name of love is still murder.
12 Feb WellnessCheck4-Natural
Patient X has not eaten since last WellnessCheck visit on 07 Feb. Has only taken water. Today he speaks more calmly and appears less agitated; he may be approaching full acceptance of the protocol and in the next 3-7 days may consent to switch to MAiDCare-Quick to avoid any needless suffering. Patient X was asked once again if any extended family or friends needed to be called. He stated that there is no one who would care to come, but that his people “on the other side” will be here for him soon.
This Caseworker (#15-0286) asked Patient X if he had experienced any more encounters with “orbs.” He said no, they’d disappeared, but that he’d been recalling another time they’d appeared in his life. He described when he was a young man and had met the woman who would become his first wife, who drank and had many problems from her turbulent childhood. Patient X described a night when they’d both gone to bed and he was struggling to sleep. He got up and encountered not one but two orbs just like the one he’d seen years before at age twelve hovering several feet before him, soft white and sparkling. Unlike the orb that had visited him and remained silent, these spoke to him. A voice “broke out” inside his mind, telling him he had no power to heal what troubled his fiancée. The voice was neither loving nor scolding, but neutral—without emotion. Patient X said he returned to bed knowing he would marry his fiancée and that her problems would follow her but accepted that those problems had nothing to do with him.
This memory appeared to comfort Patient X. At the conclusion of WellnessCheck-4 he asked for his headphones so he might listen to his music, facing the window.
Recommendation for sedatives at this time: Optional/as needed
Caseworker (#15-0286) awaiting supervisory consult and support/therapy
MAiDCare-Quick: TBD
Caseworker (#15-0286) handwritten note found in trash bin, post-investigation, 13 April, dated Feb. -?
Strangest dream early this morning—I’m still trembling. I had been facing a vast, flat valley, the colors muted, and I had to cross it alone. From all sides pressed an omnipresent danger—of bombings, bullets, capture, I do not know. But I set out at a brisk pace to cross the expanse, although I could not see to the other side and had no idea of how far I might have to go. Bald, rolling hills swelled up to my left; at the top of the hill, lions paced. Their gazes fixed upon me; my fear spurred me on, head down. Every cell in my body sensed the predators might charge down the barren slope whenever they wished and rip me to shreds; perhaps my last sight would be my own blood. But I also sensed the lions might be watching—to protect me from the evil that enshrouded the deserted valley, that as long as I kept walking through the open plain to the other side, they would serve as my guardians. Why or how I knew this, I could not say. At last, after a long time walking, some woods appeared and I hurried for the trees, eager to leave the valley and its indefinable terrors behind. A voice that was vaguely familiar called my name, and a man wearing a suit and tie stepped into the clearing. Then I woke up.
Was this a dream or perhaps a message—if so, what am I to take away, and from whom? Have such messengers or guardians indeed been watching, listening—and now speaking to me—through some veil? What or who are they? The vast valley and barren hillsides, the lions pacing from above, the terror I couldn’t shake—only to be met by a well-dressed stranger on the other side. What was the purpose of such a dream, if not to reveal to me a truth that I have been denying? For so long I have refused to see that evil is real and the possibility that one day it might come for me. But I must find the courage to walk a different path, even though fear calls to me from the shadows.
17 Feb WellnessCheck5-Natural
Patient X final WellnessCheck. For ten days he has taken only water, no food. Vitals rapidly deteriorating. Patient X now in full compliance with MAiDCare-Natural protocol and imminent expiration expected. Still mobile and coherent, although sleeping more. Patient declines all counseling and sedatives. When questioned, he makes no further mention of hallucinations, although he has abruptly begun to hum and softly sing to himself in another language. A brief recording of these strange vocalizations is attached here via flash drive; attempts were made to identify this unusual speech pattern but the initial AI report remains inconclusive: “High probability of a deceased ancient tongue. Requires further linguistic analysis.” When asked where this language comes from, if he had spoken it long ago in his childhood or in some foreign country, Patient X does not respond. Only his singing grows fainter, more labored. Caseworker remains on standby and has ceased all further questioning.
3pm Patient X has been fully discharged
Case #: 19-0157 is now closed
Caseworker (#15-0286) requests immediate transfer from all MAiDCare-Natural and MAiDCare-Quick units or resignation shall be promptly tendered
Vanessa Blakeslee’s (@vblakeslee) latest book, Perfect Conditions: Stories, is the winner of the Foreword Reviews’ 2018 INDIEFAB Book of the Year Award for the Short Story. She is the author of the novel, Juventud, and Train Shots: Stories, both of which received awards and accolades. Her writing has appeared in The Southern Review, The Paris Review Daily, The Globe and Mail, Kenyon Review Online, Joyland, and many other places. Follow her online at Instagram, Facebook, and Medium.